In light of this really, really cool concept coming to life before our eyes at Coachella, I found myself listening to 2pac songs again. For whatever reason, I began to get sad...
I see 2pac and I see two things, two sides, or as MLK Jr. said, a civil war going on in the heart of the man. He had hatred, anger, pride, jealousy, and lust on one end of his spectrum, and the other... he had regret, depression, hope, gratitude, and love. Remind you of someone?
I remember growing up as a teenager and a college student, idolizing him over most anyone else, even putting him next to MLK and Ghandi (at the time). While this certainly isn't a warranted praise, I found that what I really connected to was his "real"ness. Or as Pac would say, "I'm the realest mother f***** you ever saw". As arrogant of an expression as that is, he was right in a lot of ways. How many people do you know, can you honestly, truthfully say, gives you their word, means it, and follows through with it, every time you speak with them?
I only know a few.
How many people you know, in your church, actually says something, and then actually does it?
I only know a few.
How many people do you know, would lay down their pride, and in all humility and honesty, come before God and him or herself, and lay down all of their sins before Him? And then, when possible, ask for forgiveness to the one they wronged?
"For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it." Matt 7:14
I see 2pac and I see a man who once sought out good, sought out a life of hope, and couldn't find it. Instead, he was enticed by a life of extravagance, boastfulness, riches and fame, and succumbed to his desires that, truth be told, we all succumb to, to our own degree, in our own lives, and through our own way. So what is truth?
There are few who find it.
If this hologram, singing "Makaveli" in the background reminded me of anything, spoke anything to my heart, it was that his "resurrection" is a reminder of the death that is caused by the human condition of great pride, and the social evangelism that preaches pride, passion & power; the three jewels of the modern world. I long to see you in heaven my beloved, and my pride is in grace. My passion is you. And my power is in the love of Christ, my beloved, my resurrection, my life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgnkLILDM0o
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
A River Runs Through It
It was my first tour around the western side of the country. I had never seen the other states like Idaho, Washington, Oregon or Utah before, but driving through it all I realized how beautifully diverse America really was...
At one point you have mountain ranges, broad and strong, standing by forest green trees dancing in place with the morning breeze... a deep, silvery lake glistening against the fiery sun only to reveal its' glory even more... and morning clouds outside the foot of our cars blooming at the tip of every breathe, wafting away every memory of smog filled LA traffic... I stood there drifting away to the most beautiful, simple sound that creation makes when you're free...
I saw eternity.
Rolling hills carved out by ancient rivers and torrents... Green dunes in the spring refined to a soft golden brown in the fall... still, unforgiving deserts accompanying 16 hour drives... it was by the grace of the Creator I found a quiet in this creation that I could never find in the big city. There was no wi-fi. There were no phone calls. No e-mailing to worry about, no politics to take care of, no business to tend to. Moments of silence and peace where my soul would yearn for that greater place, that greater existence that all humanity longs for.. but most never find. I heard it in myself for years but never really realized that it wasn't under my nose... it was inside me. Me. A soul. Not a body, but a soul. For so many years I never understood what that meant. Dark and driven by my desire to succeed, I found no comfort in any success that came my way and found depression and hopelessness in every failure that blocked my path. Even if I had been successful, what was my end to be? Was the phrase "Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die" any less of a destination than what my life was gearing up to be? What was the final frontier supposed to look like? Was there one? I grew up looking up to people like Kurt Cobain and Tupac Shakur, who both in their own right walked a path that led to their own demise... and as glorified as they were by the money makers and sellers of faces and souls, I bought into their so-called glory, and desired ever so quietly, to die just as they did. Immortalized in black and white pictures of anger and angst, I wanted to take my own life in a blaze of glory and success, or as Kurt Cobain put it, to rather "burn out than fade away."
He was speaking about his career, his life... for his career became his life.. his success, who he was. His life was no longer a spirit or a person, but a body.. a body of work made up of success, cd sales, ticket sales, signed autographs and the approval of peers... and without those things, those things he feared to lose, his life had no meaning... because that was life to him. So he took it that fateful day with a shotgun to his head, fearing the eventual fading away of his story in the eyes of millions. Oh how so many of my generation wept for him! Yet I wonder what we learned from his tragic story, his final frontier.. Because if there isn't a final frontier where meaning and beauty coincide... where truth and love are the way of life... and if random occurrences can forge the ninth symphony, the complexions of the human anatomy, and the tragedy and hopeful victory of truth and morality... and if my soul is simply a thought and if I'm better served to survive as an unforgiving beast and a more clever devil, in a world full of devils, then I don't think Kurt was too far off. As Shakespeare put it, life would be
"but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage
and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing."
Sound and fury, signifying nothing...
As much as we musicians and artists have touched the multitudes and multitudes of faces and hearts throughout the generations, and as much as I as a minister have influenced and impacted those wonderful human lives brought to my care thus far... we are still nothing without that which is greater than us.. nothing without a truth that binds us and unites us to live for a cause that is worthy of our lives... and our deaths.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that's given to us." -J.R.R Tolkien
In the quiet and in the stillness.. in the darkness and in the silence, He is there.. patiently waiting, knocking on the door that pride and grief keeps shut so tight.. and if only I had known that to truly live a different life.. to live as a light to the world, to believe in a higher calling and to treasure a jewel worth selling everything over... the old needed to pass. The seed that sprouts the majestic Redwood must first die, in order to become the greatest and largest tree in the world, climbing closer to the heavens than any earthly thing, and providing shelter and food for the birds of the air to perch their nests. So be still my heart, for He is with you...
There is a river whose streams make
glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most
High.
God is in the midst of her, she
will not be moved;
God will help her when morning
dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the
kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth
melted.
The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Psalms 46:4-7
At one point you have mountain ranges, broad and strong, standing by forest green trees dancing in place with the morning breeze... a deep, silvery lake glistening against the fiery sun only to reveal its' glory even more... and morning clouds outside the foot of our cars blooming at the tip of every breathe, wafting away every memory of smog filled LA traffic... I stood there drifting away to the most beautiful, simple sound that creation makes when you're free...
I saw eternity.
Rolling hills carved out by ancient rivers and torrents... Green dunes in the spring refined to a soft golden brown in the fall... still, unforgiving deserts accompanying 16 hour drives... it was by the grace of the Creator I found a quiet in this creation that I could never find in the big city. There was no wi-fi. There were no phone calls. No e-mailing to worry about, no politics to take care of, no business to tend to. Moments of silence and peace where my soul would yearn for that greater place, that greater existence that all humanity longs for.. but most never find. I heard it in myself for years but never really realized that it wasn't under my nose... it was inside me. Me. A soul. Not a body, but a soul. For so many years I never understood what that meant. Dark and driven by my desire to succeed, I found no comfort in any success that came my way and found depression and hopelessness in every failure that blocked my path. Even if I had been successful, what was my end to be? Was the phrase "Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die" any less of a destination than what my life was gearing up to be? What was the final frontier supposed to look like? Was there one? I grew up looking up to people like Kurt Cobain and Tupac Shakur, who both in their own right walked a path that led to their own demise... and as glorified as they were by the money makers and sellers of faces and souls, I bought into their so-called glory, and desired ever so quietly, to die just as they did. Immortalized in black and white pictures of anger and angst, I wanted to take my own life in a blaze of glory and success, or as Kurt Cobain put it, to rather "burn out than fade away."
He was speaking about his career, his life... for his career became his life.. his success, who he was. His life was no longer a spirit or a person, but a body.. a body of work made up of success, cd sales, ticket sales, signed autographs and the approval of peers... and without those things, those things he feared to lose, his life had no meaning... because that was life to him. So he took it that fateful day with a shotgun to his head, fearing the eventual fading away of his story in the eyes of millions. Oh how so many of my generation wept for him! Yet I wonder what we learned from his tragic story, his final frontier.. Because if there isn't a final frontier where meaning and beauty coincide... where truth and love are the way of life... and if random occurrences can forge the ninth symphony, the complexions of the human anatomy, and the tragedy and hopeful victory of truth and morality... and if my soul is simply a thought and if I'm better served to survive as an unforgiving beast and a more clever devil, in a world full of devils, then I don't think Kurt was too far off. As Shakespeare put it, life would be
"but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage
and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing."
Sound and fury, signifying nothing...
As much as we musicians and artists have touched the multitudes and multitudes of faces and hearts throughout the generations, and as much as I as a minister have influenced and impacted those wonderful human lives brought to my care thus far... we are still nothing without that which is greater than us.. nothing without a truth that binds us and unites us to live for a cause that is worthy of our lives... and our deaths.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that's given to us." -J.R.R Tolkien
In the quiet and in the stillness.. in the darkness and in the silence, He is there.. patiently waiting, knocking on the door that pride and grief keeps shut so tight.. and if only I had known that to truly live a different life.. to live as a light to the world, to believe in a higher calling and to treasure a jewel worth selling everything over... the old needed to pass. The seed that sprouts the majestic Redwood must first die, in order to become the greatest and largest tree in the world, climbing closer to the heavens than any earthly thing, and providing shelter and food for the birds of the air to perch their nests. So be still my heart, for He is with you...
There is a river whose streams make
glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most
High.
God is in the midst of her, she
will not be moved;
God will help her when morning
dawns.
The nations made an uproar, the
kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth
melted.
The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Psalms 46:4-7
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