I remember you so vividly. At times I could sit back and drift and literally "feel" the memories of the past, and I could always remember you in particular. I remember there were moments when I, being older than you, use to take advice from you. I remember you use to encourage me greatly, consistently, lifting me up when my spirits were low and keeping me on earth when my emotions were too high. You use to keep me in your prayers constantly, opening your Bible and being faithful to most all the promises you made... each night you would pray for courage and guidance for the following day at school; high school life wasn't always easy, if you remember. You use to look up to many great people, and some treated you well, and others not so well... but you never lost it. You never lost your faith. You were so full of faith and joy. God I use to see your joy radiate from your smile, and with just one look I'd catch myself smiling back.. without even knowing why..
I remember how much you loved to worship God. I remember how passionate you would get when you would sing, in front of the entire church, with everyone around, you would sing your heart out to Jesus, because you knew in your heart and your soul how much He truly loved you. Do you remember those days? You never cared what others thought of you, but you didn't hate the gossipers.. you rose above them by serving them, being humble around them knowing you were guilty too, and always trying to help them. Do you remember?
The days when you were loved...
Time passes quickly, doesn't it? It's been over a decade since those days, and if I asked you to, you could still probably remember the color of the walls in the chapel, the long red pews lining up like solar panels drinking up the light of the sun.. and it was in those short, powerful moments that you use to know that you would never leave Him, because you knew He would never leave you. You were so confident then. The days went on and the years passed, and you found many of your peers straying off, veering into dark corners of the world... following their dreams and ambitions most of our parents laid out for us, and before you even knew what happened... you ended up in a place you never imagined.
Uncertain.
You were always so honest to me, and if I may be so bold as to honor you by giving you that same honor, why are you where you are? Most people, young or old, never like to admit they are uncertain, that most times out of the day when they sit and think, they truly realize they're not as sure as they wished, and are always trying to catch the white rabbit they continually miss... but this isn't an interview, and no one is asking you any questions that they'll hear the answers to.. so truly, why are you lost?
I'm not better than you. You know that. I know that better than anyone. I know all the things I had done. Bad things. Terrible things. Things that were difficult for me to lay out on the table and analyze. But I did it. It was painful. I wasn't really one to cry a lot, but I wept, bitter tears. I wept because I had no one, and I knew that even those that I had, it was imperfect. I mean, I'm imperfect too, but that's not what I mean. The love I had never seemed enough. I always wanted more. No wait, that's not right... I always needed more. But it was never enough! I strived and strived and begged and begged... and they would always throw me a crumb, just enough to keep me at their beck and call. I went to those parties. I know you. You're not fulfilled getting drunk on the weekends and going to those parties hopefully catching yourself with a famous person to put on your Instagram. That's not enough for you. You're not fulfilled at your job either, are you? There's always another ladder to climb... another person to try not to envy.
If you and I were meant to live in such a way, which is what the world would certainly lead us to do, then I don't see why we're always asking for more. If we're just animals, then why has mankind since the beginning of written history always had eternity in inscribed in their hearts? How can someone bound by time even have a concept of something being outside of it?
Do you want to be free?
You're not like me. You don't need "proof." You weren't made that way. You live by following your heart. So when you look... deep down... I mean deep down, to the very bottom of your heart of hearts... when you've hit rock bottom and there's no more "bottomer" place to go.. what does your heart tell you? Even when I was doing all the bad things I was doing... when I was alone in my room, and I searched deep down to that lowest of places in my heart... I knew Jesus was real. I knew He was the Son of God. It's true. Romans 1.
I hated it, don't get me wrong, and I know right now, you probably hate it too. But Jesus doesn't hate you. Isn't that interesting? As much as I denied Him and spit on Him and persecuted and ridiculed His followers, church goers, cussed them out and drank to their misery... I realized, that no matter what I did, I couldn't take away what He did. You can't change the past. You use to tell me that. You can't change the past. Well, you were right.
I couldn't change the Cross.
Oh my dear friend, how much He has waiting for you.. how much He loves you, you and I will never fully know.. but would you do me a favor? When He calls on you again, it will be the quietest whisper venting in your soul... and the loudest knock you hear on your door... because He won't be hiding behind a mask or putting on a front for you. This isn't a show and it's not a dream; this is your life... and You'll know that it's Him. You'll know because you use to love Him... you were madly in love with Him...
He was your first love.
“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep." John 10:15
Oh my friend, He is jealous for you. He died for you because it would last for all time, eternal and undimmed by the fading glory of this world.. and even though you're uncertain right now, even though you're shaking... just know... that He loves you... and cares for you very, very much. You were never gone, you just went away for a little while is all. Come home now.
Night Walker
It saddens me to see the pain that you have entered into. I know that it hurts, and that the pain seems like it will not subside. You have used many different methods to calm it down, including drugs, people, fits of happiness and moments of rage.. yet all of them are the types of happiness that leave you restless, seeking, in want, craving for more..
I look back at those days of mine where the sun was always too bright and the night couldn't come quicker; every day was exactly the same. I dreamt of a place where everyone was joyful, together, loving and accepting one another... and interestingly enough, consuming drugs to enhance their joy. I got it, but it was not as I had desired.
I looked around this large dark hill of people, mingling, talking, enjoying each other and the various drugs they were into... and soon the night closed with the dawning of the sun. Everyone's imperfections were noticed. Everybody ran to hide from the light. Those who did not hide, their flaws were completely exposed, some were even naked.. some were cheating on one another... others were talking behind their friends' backs, and none of them were filled with joy, for the light revealed everything, and soon.. the joy given to them by drugs and wild living in the night turned quickly into a depression too heavy to bear through the shining of the sun.
I ran and ran and ran, hiding inside of caves before the sun would set and the night would begin.. Every time the sun came up, I would sleep inside my cave, and at times, different ones, and others would be crowded in with me. It was a difficult time when daybreak came. It was uncomfortable, difficult to breathe... we feared judgment, fought amongst one another for spaces and pleasures... we had a moral code that we followed. My code is better than yours was the general notion among everybody. Everyone broke one another's code; it was simply a way to suit their own narrative.
We were gods.
Eventually joy turned to envy, envy turned to greed, and then came the fights. There was no real loyalty. It was all based around that which we all paid homage to; pleasure. No one cared more about anything but pleasure. We sought it out and went to the ends of the earth to get it. Our loyalty to one another stemmed around our loyalty to that pleasure. If anybody forsook that pleasure, we would eventually forsake them. "What business do we have with them anymore anyway?" we told ourselves.
I could see that in many places around the world, the idea was the same. Perhaps this is why vampire movies are so prevalent. The dark seems to be a "cool" place. The most fashionable cave today has not changed since the dawn of time. It is murky, difficult to see, confusing, and most of all, filled with blind men leading the blind. I saw it with my own eyes, or rather, my eyes had been darkened so that I was unable to open them in the midst of the sun. If it were not for the hand that led me during this time, I would not be with you now, writing to you, able to see, able to breathe freely in the summer breeze in the glow of the morning star that breathed in me new life.
It saddens me to see you entering into these caves of regret and remorse. To think the sun only reveals your weaknesses is a narrow point of view. Yes, it does do this, yet if you will stand there for a moment and soak in the heat of the sun, you will realize that it not only reveals truth; it burns away the dead things of the body, growing up into life within the soul. Someone once told me a seed must first die before it becomes a living, breathing thing; from death to life, a resurrection from the grave. You see, the light reveals truth, and the truth will set you free. No "daywalker" fears the night do they? Only nightwalkers fear the day. A vampire is very limited in its' fabled history; they die and burn in the light of the sun. Yet those who walk during the day do not burn in darkness. No, it is exactly here that they shine in the midst of darkness, and that is exactly what the Son does.
He radiates inside of you, and that which you receive during the day, while the light is still here, you will shine into the darkest areas of the earth. And you will do more than simply reveal people's sicknesses, flaws, greed, envy... you will change them forever. You will create sons of light from sons of darkness. They will not feed on the blood of people anymore but be eternally filled once and for all by the blood of the Son. They will not run and hide as they once did from the morning star, but they will run and embrace Him as the giver of Life, the giver of eternal joy and happiness. True, someone will tell you there is no life in the sun for night creatures such as yourselves. Yet I was a nightwalker once just like you, perhaps even more. And believe me when I tell you, it is impossible to see in the dark.
And you, having been freed, oh former member of the dark, will come out of your cave and enjoy the brilliance of the entire earth shining before you. You will run free through fields of gold, never hiding, for shame will drift away into a lost memory... and glory will suddenly become a reality, a reality you will never forget nor regret, for regret only comes when there is loss.. and you will never lose this glory, for the Son is eternal, and His glory lasts from age to age, and so will you. We will share in this glory, even now we do.
So rise up night walker! Awake!
It is time to shine like the sun.
"Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:1-5
I look back at those days of mine where the sun was always too bright and the night couldn't come quicker; every day was exactly the same. I dreamt of a place where everyone was joyful, together, loving and accepting one another... and interestingly enough, consuming drugs to enhance their joy. I got it, but it was not as I had desired.
I looked around this large dark hill of people, mingling, talking, enjoying each other and the various drugs they were into... and soon the night closed with the dawning of the sun. Everyone's imperfections were noticed. Everybody ran to hide from the light. Those who did not hide, their flaws were completely exposed, some were even naked.. some were cheating on one another... others were talking behind their friends' backs, and none of them were filled with joy, for the light revealed everything, and soon.. the joy given to them by drugs and wild living in the night turned quickly into a depression too heavy to bear through the shining of the sun.
I ran and ran and ran, hiding inside of caves before the sun would set and the night would begin.. Every time the sun came up, I would sleep inside my cave, and at times, different ones, and others would be crowded in with me. It was a difficult time when daybreak came. It was uncomfortable, difficult to breathe... we feared judgment, fought amongst one another for spaces and pleasures... we had a moral code that we followed. My code is better than yours was the general notion among everybody. Everyone broke one another's code; it was simply a way to suit their own narrative.
We were gods.
Eventually joy turned to envy, envy turned to greed, and then came the fights. There was no real loyalty. It was all based around that which we all paid homage to; pleasure. No one cared more about anything but pleasure. We sought it out and went to the ends of the earth to get it. Our loyalty to one another stemmed around our loyalty to that pleasure. If anybody forsook that pleasure, we would eventually forsake them. "What business do we have with them anymore anyway?" we told ourselves.
I could see that in many places around the world, the idea was the same. Perhaps this is why vampire movies are so prevalent. The dark seems to be a "cool" place. The most fashionable cave today has not changed since the dawn of time. It is murky, difficult to see, confusing, and most of all, filled with blind men leading the blind. I saw it with my own eyes, or rather, my eyes had been darkened so that I was unable to open them in the midst of the sun. If it were not for the hand that led me during this time, I would not be with you now, writing to you, able to see, able to breathe freely in the summer breeze in the glow of the morning star that breathed in me new life.
It saddens me to see you entering into these caves of regret and remorse. To think the sun only reveals your weaknesses is a narrow point of view. Yes, it does do this, yet if you will stand there for a moment and soak in the heat of the sun, you will realize that it not only reveals truth; it burns away the dead things of the body, growing up into life within the soul. Someone once told me a seed must first die before it becomes a living, breathing thing; from death to life, a resurrection from the grave. You see, the light reveals truth, and the truth will set you free. No "daywalker" fears the night do they? Only nightwalkers fear the day. A vampire is very limited in its' fabled history; they die and burn in the light of the sun. Yet those who walk during the day do not burn in darkness. No, it is exactly here that they shine in the midst of darkness, and that is exactly what the Son does.
He radiates inside of you, and that which you receive during the day, while the light is still here, you will shine into the darkest areas of the earth. And you will do more than simply reveal people's sicknesses, flaws, greed, envy... you will change them forever. You will create sons of light from sons of darkness. They will not feed on the blood of people anymore but be eternally filled once and for all by the blood of the Son. They will not run and hide as they once did from the morning star, but they will run and embrace Him as the giver of Life, the giver of eternal joy and happiness. True, someone will tell you there is no life in the sun for night creatures such as yourselves. Yet I was a nightwalker once just like you, perhaps even more. And believe me when I tell you, it is impossible to see in the dark.
And you, having been freed, oh former member of the dark, will come out of your cave and enjoy the brilliance of the entire earth shining before you. You will run free through fields of gold, never hiding, for shame will drift away into a lost memory... and glory will suddenly become a reality, a reality you will never forget nor regret, for regret only comes when there is loss.. and you will never lose this glory, for the Son is eternal, and His glory lasts from age to age, and so will you. We will share in this glory, even now we do.
So rise up night walker! Awake!
It is time to shine like the sun.
"Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:1-5
Where is the Love?
How often do we think of the lost? I mean really... when's the last time we wept over those who are destined for Hades? You see, whether you believe in God or don't, a person who truly believes in God doesn't only surround himself with entertainment and work. They don't only think about when the new movie's coming out, or when I get my next paycheck, or whose birthday is coming up next. These things have value, but isn’t there something greater than this, something greater than my own troubles? How often are we so concerned with our needs that we forget the needy? How often are we so concerned with our own salvation that we forget to preach to others? Isn't this heart, the heart of the Father? What about the people who are starving, wondering where they're going to find a clean source of water, who don't have the hope of eternity, lying on their death beds wondering what's going to happen to them next? When's the last time we wept over them? I prayed to the Lord,
"God forgive me! I do not love enough!
God forgive me! I sought after Your knowledge but did not seek after Your love!
God forgive me! I forgot that I am clothed in righteousness, a son of the Most High God!
God forgive me! I thought of attaining perfection and did not dwell upon Yours!”
God forgive me, truly, for in the midst of seeking out opportunities to minister, I forgot to minister to You.
Where is the love? Where has my love gone? I have cared only for myself and not the troubles of others. I told God that to be honest, I use to have such a greater burden than I do now. Francis Chan and his board of elders held a meeting once confessing all their sins to one another, most of their sins being that they use to love so much more than they do now. Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song about the same thing. I didn't want to hide, I didn't want to front, I didn't want to act like I was better, but when I heard that I knew I was guilty of the same thing. So here's my question to you:
If we were shown a video of children dying, wasting away from water poisoning, drinking out of a puddle of mud you and I wouldn’t let our children step in, does that do anything for you? Prove it. A famous pastor once said to an American congregation, you can tell a lot about Christians by looking at their checkbook. Are you generous? How much money do we spend on toys and entertainment, compared to missions and feeding the poor, widows and orphans?
And you know something? I can't wait. I can't wait for God to show up and do His thing. I can't wait for Him to change our hearts. I don't want to sound mopey and sad. I can't wait for this because I know for a FACT that God is going to do this thing, He's going to move this country, this people, these hearts that have grown callous and cold (and He's doing it now). I can't wait for that to happen here. God hears the prayers of the righteous, and I know people who have wept and prayed over this country with me who I consider to be far better than I, and I know God is coming. I know your heart is going to change, as is mine, that we're going to continually be moving up towards heaven and not back down towards earth, our former way of living; we're gonna be freed of all the bondage and accusations that come from the Devil and walk in the glory of the Son. I know this because I know Him, or rather, because He knows me. And because He knows me and the Son laid down His life for me, my desire, oh Father in heaven, oh King of Kings, is to do the same for my brothers and sisters in need.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows. -Psalm 23:5
"God forgive me! I do not love enough!
God forgive me! I sought after Your knowledge but did not seek after Your love!
God forgive me! I forgot that I am clothed in righteousness, a son of the Most High God!
God forgive me! I thought of attaining perfection and did not dwell upon Yours!”
God forgive me, truly, for in the midst of seeking out opportunities to minister, I forgot to minister to You.
Where is the love? Where has my love gone? I have cared only for myself and not the troubles of others. I told God that to be honest, I use to have such a greater burden than I do now. Francis Chan and his board of elders held a meeting once confessing all their sins to one another, most of their sins being that they use to love so much more than they do now. Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song about the same thing. I didn't want to hide, I didn't want to front, I didn't want to act like I was better, but when I heard that I knew I was guilty of the same thing. So here's my question to you:
If we were shown a video of children dying, wasting away from water poisoning, drinking out of a puddle of mud you and I wouldn’t let our children step in, does that do anything for you? Prove it. A famous pastor once said to an American congregation, you can tell a lot about Christians by looking at their checkbook. Are you generous? How much money do we spend on toys and entertainment, compared to missions and feeding the poor, widows and orphans?
And you know something? I can't wait. I can't wait for God to show up and do His thing. I can't wait for Him to change our hearts. I don't want to sound mopey and sad. I can't wait for this because I know for a FACT that God is going to do this thing, He's going to move this country, this people, these hearts that have grown callous and cold (and He's doing it now). I can't wait for that to happen here. God hears the prayers of the righteous, and I know people who have wept and prayed over this country with me who I consider to be far better than I, and I know God is coming. I know your heart is going to change, as is mine, that we're going to continually be moving up towards heaven and not back down towards earth, our former way of living; we're gonna be freed of all the bondage and accusations that come from the Devil and walk in the glory of the Son. I know this because I know Him, or rather, because He knows me. And because He knows me and the Son laid down His life for me, my desire, oh Father in heaven, oh King of Kings, is to do the same for my brothers and sisters in need.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows. -Psalm 23:5
The Love of a Father
I just got done watching the movie John Q.. you know, the one with Denzel Washington and it's the story where a father wants to die for his son? His son has an over-sized heart and is in need of a very expensive surgery, one that John Q can't afford. Not taking "no" for an answer, John takes the hospital hostage to operate on his son. Eventually he realizes that they need a heart to replace the over-sized one in his son, and John decides to let his son take his heart, to die so that his son can live... and with the obvious Christ-like implications in this story, I thought one scene was particularly interesting...
The doctor and the people in the hospital finally say to John Q (Denzel Washington) that he should just accept the fact that his son is going to die. But what does he say? He says his son is going to live, that he does NOT accept that, that he WON'T accept that.. ever. And it broke my heart.
It broke my heart because I began to think of how the conversation must have been like, in heaven, between our Father, the Son, and the angels. I began to wonder, "What must it have been like? What must they have said? What must some of the angels had said to Him?" To give up perhaps? To accept the fact that your children, that your sheep are hopeless, lost, and dead? That there is no turning back for them, that there is nothing that can save them... To accept that every last one of them will die, that every last one of us will spit in His face again if we had the chance... just forget it, it's not worth it, they don't deserve it... just face up, give up, and give in... For your children are lost... and can not be found.
To you who are reading this, I pray that joy, peace, and love enters your life... I pray that your heart breaks too, when God speaks to you (in all the ways that He does), that when you imagine how God must have stood up for us... tears of joy enter your eyes. How Jesus Christ, the Son, sitting at the right hand of God, must have stood up before the angels... and with power and authority, spoke to them... with nothing but pure... and true...
love.
His strength is perfect when ours is gone yes? His love for us is never-ending, it never fades, it never loses hope, it never fails us. It doesn't give up. It doesn't falter, it doesn't struggle, it doesn't fear, it doesn't regret, it doesn't doubt... it knows everything, it forgives yesterday, today and tomorrow... It gives us hope, it gives us joy, it gives us peace, it gives us comfort and shelter in times of hardship, it gives us unity... it gives us strength, it gives us purpose, and it gives us the truth. He is always there... watching us, with compassion and understanding, with love and mercy... He is watching us.
And through our denying of His love, through our denying of His existence, through our denying of the cross, through the suffering we caused by needing the cross, and through our cursing of the cross,
He was still hanging on that cross...
And so I hope that one day we all will see the cross, that you will see the dream that's been given to you, the road that lies ahead of you, and have the faith and courage that this great father had, and know that this faith started with God's faith...in you.
To end in His words,
"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." -Jesus Christ
The doctor and the people in the hospital finally say to John Q (Denzel Washington) that he should just accept the fact that his son is going to die. But what does he say? He says his son is going to live, that he does NOT accept that, that he WON'T accept that.. ever. And it broke my heart.
It broke my heart because I began to think of how the conversation must have been like, in heaven, between our Father, the Son, and the angels. I began to wonder, "What must it have been like? What must they have said? What must some of the angels had said to Him?" To give up perhaps? To accept the fact that your children, that your sheep are hopeless, lost, and dead? That there is no turning back for them, that there is nothing that can save them... To accept that every last one of them will die, that every last one of us will spit in His face again if we had the chance... just forget it, it's not worth it, they don't deserve it... just face up, give up, and give in... For your children are lost... and can not be found.
To you who are reading this, I pray that joy, peace, and love enters your life... I pray that your heart breaks too, when God speaks to you (in all the ways that He does), that when you imagine how God must have stood up for us... tears of joy enter your eyes. How Jesus Christ, the Son, sitting at the right hand of God, must have stood up before the angels... and with power and authority, spoke to them... with nothing but pure... and true...
love.
His strength is perfect when ours is gone yes? His love for us is never-ending, it never fades, it never loses hope, it never fails us. It doesn't give up. It doesn't falter, it doesn't struggle, it doesn't fear, it doesn't regret, it doesn't doubt... it knows everything, it forgives yesterday, today and tomorrow... It gives us hope, it gives us joy, it gives us peace, it gives us comfort and shelter in times of hardship, it gives us unity... it gives us strength, it gives us purpose, and it gives us the truth. He is always there... watching us, with compassion and understanding, with love and mercy... He is watching us.
And through our denying of His love, through our denying of His existence, through our denying of the cross, through the suffering we caused by needing the cross, and through our cursing of the cross,
He was still hanging on that cross...
And so I hope that one day we all will see the cross, that you will see the dream that's been given to you, the road that lies ahead of you, and have the faith and courage that this great father had, and know that this faith started with God's faith...in you.
To end in His words,
"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." -Jesus Christ
Ghost in the Mirror
I adore the shame and guilt of the weak. Can I help it if they print it all over their little faces? I like to bathe them in pity and narcissism, talking about how sad their lives have been, how terrible it was for them and how no one else is going through it but them. They think I'm their friend. It's what I do. At the end though, what I truly want... what really, really gets me fired up, is when they spit at their own reflection and take out that knife and pop open those pills... and say goodbye to the pain.
Because I am the Ghost in the Mirror, and I own every last one of them.
She never had too much to live for you know. It wasn't like I made her do it, we all have choices to make. I just pushed her in the right direction, that's all. It's not like that many people missed her after they found her hanging from an electrical cord, empty in her bedroom. For some reason, she had that crippling look in her eyes. That look where people could see the weakness and take out their own insecurities on her... spread rumors about her... even call her a whore.
And all the self-esteem she had in her was sucked dry by, well, yours truly.
It's like the ultimate lithium when parents don't care about their kids. Who needs drugs when you have negligent parents? And her parents even went so far as to set up strict moral guidelines to keep in the house. What's a 12 year old kid know? Discipline without love is punishment. Without love, rules are just a source of guilt and shame when they're broken. And they always get broken. How was she supposed to make friends coming from a home like that? Or get straight A's with no affection lingering from back home? I work well with parents like these. And more often than not, they had parents similar to themselves (though I never tell them out loud).
She sometimes prayed to God, but most of the “christian” friends around her were too shy to say anything, or too popular to risk anything. And it was real difficult getting through that thick European accent she had. And once all the rumors started, everyone wanted to join in. They didn't want to be left out, and they didn't want to be the one cast out either. The Simpsons weren't too far off when the people of Springfield were asking the man on the big t.v., “why should we listen to you?” Then the man said, “Because I'm a man on a big t.v., now listen up.” A person is smart, but people are sheep.
On rare occasions we got “those” kids who did end up blabbing about Jesus this, and Jesus that, He loves you, blah blah blah. But damn that name. I don't know a single demon out there on the field that doesn't shudder every time they hear it.
It hasn't been difficult getting kids out there to join our side either. Man they hear that word Jesus and curses just start flying outta their mouths. I mean they really, really hate it, and they don't even know why! How do you hate something you don't believe in? Curious, isn't it? That's exactly why my Father is called the Deceiver, the one who masquerades as an angel of light. I'm very proud of my Father. It was even him who thought of making “Jesus Christ” a curse word. And isn't it interesting that no other “god” in this world is used as a curse word, except for Jesus Christ? Genius I do say! I never would have thought he could pull that off, but Father said I needed more faith. Now almost every Hollywood star says it as a curse in every single movie. Makes him seem less real.
But the best way we've kept ourselves hidden, is how people have been fooled into thinking that only that which is visible can be reality, isn't it funny? They've forgotten that their whole lives revolve around the things that are NOT seen! Science, the laws of physics, gravity, chemistry, biology. The laws of induction and reason. The proof is everywhere. Love, the concepts of beauty and number, mathematics... they ALL follow laws that aren't visible. Heck, a person's name and their very being, isn't something that's touchable either. Sure you can touch their skin, but not even we care about a person's skin, because that's not who they really are. We care about their souls. We care about them.
So did you really want to hear my side of the story? You knew all this already. It's all in the bible and all over your television sets, your schools, your music, your news, your stupid faith. Oh, let me guess. You're gonna let people read my letter? Because your heart aches for those kids who hate themselves? Ha! You don't think I knew that prior to writing this to you? Go ahead! I'll tell them all about you. I'll tell them you're a freaking zealot, and they'll listen to me! They'll believe me. You know why?
Because they don't believe in me.
Sincerely,
-The Ghost in the Mirror
Because I am the Ghost in the Mirror, and I own every last one of them.
She never had too much to live for you know. It wasn't like I made her do it, we all have choices to make. I just pushed her in the right direction, that's all. It's not like that many people missed her after they found her hanging from an electrical cord, empty in her bedroom. For some reason, she had that crippling look in her eyes. That look where people could see the weakness and take out their own insecurities on her... spread rumors about her... even call her a whore.
And all the self-esteem she had in her was sucked dry by, well, yours truly.
It's like the ultimate lithium when parents don't care about their kids. Who needs drugs when you have negligent parents? And her parents even went so far as to set up strict moral guidelines to keep in the house. What's a 12 year old kid know? Discipline without love is punishment. Without love, rules are just a source of guilt and shame when they're broken. And they always get broken. How was she supposed to make friends coming from a home like that? Or get straight A's with no affection lingering from back home? I work well with parents like these. And more often than not, they had parents similar to themselves (though I never tell them out loud).
She sometimes prayed to God, but most of the “christian” friends around her were too shy to say anything, or too popular to risk anything. And it was real difficult getting through that thick European accent she had. And once all the rumors started, everyone wanted to join in. They didn't want to be left out, and they didn't want to be the one cast out either. The Simpsons weren't too far off when the people of Springfield were asking the man on the big t.v., “why should we listen to you?” Then the man said, “Because I'm a man on a big t.v., now listen up.” A person is smart, but people are sheep.
On rare occasions we got “those” kids who did end up blabbing about Jesus this, and Jesus that, He loves you, blah blah blah. But damn that name. I don't know a single demon out there on the field that doesn't shudder every time they hear it.
It hasn't been difficult getting kids out there to join our side either. Man they hear that word Jesus and curses just start flying outta their mouths. I mean they really, really hate it, and they don't even know why! How do you hate something you don't believe in? Curious, isn't it? That's exactly why my Father is called the Deceiver, the one who masquerades as an angel of light. I'm very proud of my Father. It was even him who thought of making “Jesus Christ” a curse word. And isn't it interesting that no other “god” in this world is used as a curse word, except for Jesus Christ? Genius I do say! I never would have thought he could pull that off, but Father said I needed more faith. Now almost every Hollywood star says it as a curse in every single movie. Makes him seem less real.
But the best way we've kept ourselves hidden, is how people have been fooled into thinking that only that which is visible can be reality, isn't it funny? They've forgotten that their whole lives revolve around the things that are NOT seen! Science, the laws of physics, gravity, chemistry, biology. The laws of induction and reason. The proof is everywhere. Love, the concepts of beauty and number, mathematics... they ALL follow laws that aren't visible. Heck, a person's name and their very being, isn't something that's touchable either. Sure you can touch their skin, but not even we care about a person's skin, because that's not who they really are. We care about their souls. We care about them.
So did you really want to hear my side of the story? You knew all this already. It's all in the bible and all over your television sets, your schools, your music, your news, your stupid faith. Oh, let me guess. You're gonna let people read my letter? Because your heart aches for those kids who hate themselves? Ha! You don't think I knew that prior to writing this to you? Go ahead! I'll tell them all about you. I'll tell them you're a freaking zealot, and they'll listen to me! They'll believe me. You know why?
Because they don't believe in me.
Sincerely,
-The Ghost in the Mirror
Give a Quarter, get a Nickel
Regardless of what you believe in, how you view our world, morality, right and wrong, problems and solutions, guilt and reconciliation, everybody, including you and I, have things precious to us. And regardless of what the actual thing is that's important you, what is common to all people's precious possessions is that none of them are willing to give it up for nothing. Nobody is willing to trade out fifty million dollars for a crusty dollar bill.
So here's what came to me this past Sunday. There's a lot of artists out there, such as Jay Z and Lady Gaga, who make flamboyant gestures pointing to their allegiance to a secret fraternity known as the Illuminati. The Illuminati, if they exist, are a group of brothers (allowing for females to enter) who worship who we know as Satan, or the Devil. He first came to the knowledge of people through the Holy Bible, and is a fallen angel longing to be like God and promotes independence from God, longing to become God himself. Naturally, his followers will take on similar ideals. "Do What Thou Wilt" is a popular phrase coined by arguably the founder of Satanism, Aleister Crowley, in which Jay Z was infamously known for having printed on one of his t-shirts in the clothing line Rocawear when he was the owner and president of it. Satan, is famously known for exchanging the world for the souls of men and women. He even presented to Jesus Christ, the entire world, so long as the only begotten Son of God kneeled to him. Of course, Jesus did not do so. We can not say the same for every other human being that walked this earth.
But there was that Voice, saying, "Now why would Satan so quickly give up the whole world, in exchange for a human life? What can you tell about what is actually precious to Satan? What does he know that Jesus also knew, yet these artists and many others do not?"
"Well, I suppose this world isn't really that valuable. Not to God, and certainly not to Satan. Why would he give up the world so quickly if it's supposed to be that precious to him?"
"He wouldn't." said the Voice.
"So... Satan, as every good liar does, is making us believe that the world is more important than our souls, than our lives, than our eternities, and bartering with us a deal that will see him profit and see us lose? (Satan is called the father of lies John 8) So just by seeing that Satan is willing to give the whole world to us for our souls, that must mean that our souls are more valuable than the whole world, that this whole world is nothing compared to our souls. And even Satan knows it. That You, Father of creation, see us more valuable above every other created thing, even the whole world. And Satan, is trying to take that for himself, by lying to us, by flattering us, by conning us. He means to murder us."
"Good answer." said the Voice.
I can not tell you that there are many people who outright worship Satan. But I can tell you there are many who adhere to his beliefs.
I can not tell you that there are many people who know who Satan is, and what he wants. But I can tell you there are many who seek and want the same things.
I can not tell you there are many people who seek the truth with all their hearts. But I can tell you there is one fallen angel that knows God's Word through and through.
And these artists are just one of many who adhere to these beliefs, who promote selfishness, pride, envy, jealousy, chasing after money like the wind... who have fallen into this lie of making a deal with the Devil. But I tell you now, this deal is not just made with the super rich, or the haughty or the jealous, it is made with every single living person on this planet. And all have a choice, to follow and seek God, or turn and seek after the world. I can tell you now my friends, that all this earth has to offer is nothing compared to all that heaven has to offer... for "what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? (matt 16) For even if you die a rich and glorious man, powerful in stature and presence, influential more than the others, and a fame that spanned across the seven seas...
A live dog is better than a dead lion. (eccl 9)
God is love.
S.D.G
So here's what came to me this past Sunday. There's a lot of artists out there, such as Jay Z and Lady Gaga, who make flamboyant gestures pointing to their allegiance to a secret fraternity known as the Illuminati. The Illuminati, if they exist, are a group of brothers (allowing for females to enter) who worship who we know as Satan, or the Devil. He first came to the knowledge of people through the Holy Bible, and is a fallen angel longing to be like God and promotes independence from God, longing to become God himself. Naturally, his followers will take on similar ideals. "Do What Thou Wilt" is a popular phrase coined by arguably the founder of Satanism, Aleister Crowley, in which Jay Z was infamously known for having printed on one of his t-shirts in the clothing line Rocawear when he was the owner and president of it. Satan, is famously known for exchanging the world for the souls of men and women. He even presented to Jesus Christ, the entire world, so long as the only begotten Son of God kneeled to him. Of course, Jesus did not do so. We can not say the same for every other human being that walked this earth.
But there was that Voice, saying, "Now why would Satan so quickly give up the whole world, in exchange for a human life? What can you tell about what is actually precious to Satan? What does he know that Jesus also knew, yet these artists and many others do not?"
"Well, I suppose this world isn't really that valuable. Not to God, and certainly not to Satan. Why would he give up the world so quickly if it's supposed to be that precious to him?"
"He wouldn't." said the Voice.
"So... Satan, as every good liar does, is making us believe that the world is more important than our souls, than our lives, than our eternities, and bartering with us a deal that will see him profit and see us lose? (Satan is called the father of lies John 8) So just by seeing that Satan is willing to give the whole world to us for our souls, that must mean that our souls are more valuable than the whole world, that this whole world is nothing compared to our souls. And even Satan knows it. That You, Father of creation, see us more valuable above every other created thing, even the whole world. And Satan, is trying to take that for himself, by lying to us, by flattering us, by conning us. He means to murder us."
"Good answer." said the Voice.
I can not tell you that there are many people who outright worship Satan. But I can tell you there are many who adhere to his beliefs.
I can not tell you that there are many people who know who Satan is, and what he wants. But I can tell you there are many who seek and want the same things.
I can not tell you there are many people who seek the truth with all their hearts. But I can tell you there is one fallen angel that knows God's Word through and through.
And these artists are just one of many who adhere to these beliefs, who promote selfishness, pride, envy, jealousy, chasing after money like the wind... who have fallen into this lie of making a deal with the Devil. But I tell you now, this deal is not just made with the super rich, or the haughty or the jealous, it is made with every single living person on this planet. And all have a choice, to follow and seek God, or turn and seek after the world. I can tell you now my friends, that all this earth has to offer is nothing compared to all that heaven has to offer... for "what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? (matt 16) For even if you die a rich and glorious man, powerful in stature and presence, influential more than the others, and a fame that spanned across the seven seas...
A live dog is better than a dead lion. (eccl 9)
God is love.
S.D.G
My Wife's a Whore.
I had no money at the time. I didn't really have a choice. None of us did. It was accepted. Something everybody just lived by... or rather, lived on. You see, you Americans couldn't possibly understand. You can't understand how emasculating it is, to see your wife have to sleep with another man to have food on the table... and you, having to consent to it, not because someone put a gun to your head, or because she's sneaking around behind your back...
But because if you didn't, you couldn't be with her.
This isn't uncommon throughout human history, if you Americans even care about anything outside of your own. Did you not have slaves once yourselves? Slaves are not a thing of the past. You see, in my country, we have very few landowners, and very many workers. And with so few people in control, benevolence and giving to others is a very far-fetched ideal... although our national religion claims to be otherwise, and so does yours. Was not your country the same? The only work that we men have is serving foreigners like you, coming here to see our beautiful country, celebrating and enjoying the lives they lead, waiting for your vacation days... to "get away" from it all. Imagine that...
Vacation.
God if I could only get away from this place, from this country... for free men and bond men walk here along the same streets, but never to the same place. The rich man and the poor man have two eyes, two feet and two hands... but one has golden chains around theirs, and the other... silver shackles. We have forever dwelled in the shadow of those who walk before us, as our masters, our "givers", the ones who take our wives who in return give us what we need. This is my giver. This is my land of the free. Does it really matter to you though? I mean, you don't want to ruin your honeymoon, do you?
I have seen you smile, gazing into the eyes of your fiance, and in the dark have seen you grin at my newly wed wife, riding in the back seat of my car... watching her smile back at you, wondering when the night will finally be over. Many foreigners come here because our country is beautiful; I do not find it beautiful. If there ever was a good, beautiful God, this is not the place He would have made. We worship idle statues and buildings, burning incense and fragrances for these images that never give back, and if this is love, if this is considered beauty, then I wish to be free of it. For every time I see you foreigners come, my stomach begins to churn... and my heart begins to thump... because in my heart, I hate you. Yet with my mouth, I must grind my teeth and love you.
I know you foreigner. You walk by a beggar on the street every day of your life, on the richest street in the world, as if he will no longer exist after he has left your sight. Too busy are you? But the beggar still lies there, still hungry, still slowly fading away every day of every morning. And the slave still walks in your shadow, yet you stroll along as if you do not notice me. But one day, you will. For human justice is blind... but not true Justice. You, oh rich child, will be held accountable for everything that you do, did you know that? Do you?
My countrymen... we... do not wish to be beggars, so we have chosen to be slaves. I need money, don't you? So my wife and I have decided that she will be your whore, and I will be your driver. This is not the life of a real man. This is not the life of a free woman. These are the lives of slaves. And you...
You are our customer.
God save us all.
But because if you didn't, you couldn't be with her.
This isn't uncommon throughout human history, if you Americans even care about anything outside of your own. Did you not have slaves once yourselves? Slaves are not a thing of the past. You see, in my country, we have very few landowners, and very many workers. And with so few people in control, benevolence and giving to others is a very far-fetched ideal... although our national religion claims to be otherwise, and so does yours. Was not your country the same? The only work that we men have is serving foreigners like you, coming here to see our beautiful country, celebrating and enjoying the lives they lead, waiting for your vacation days... to "get away" from it all. Imagine that...
Vacation.
God if I could only get away from this place, from this country... for free men and bond men walk here along the same streets, but never to the same place. The rich man and the poor man have two eyes, two feet and two hands... but one has golden chains around theirs, and the other... silver shackles. We have forever dwelled in the shadow of those who walk before us, as our masters, our "givers", the ones who take our wives who in return give us what we need. This is my giver. This is my land of the free. Does it really matter to you though? I mean, you don't want to ruin your honeymoon, do you?
I have seen you smile, gazing into the eyes of your fiance, and in the dark have seen you grin at my newly wed wife, riding in the back seat of my car... watching her smile back at you, wondering when the night will finally be over. Many foreigners come here because our country is beautiful; I do not find it beautiful. If there ever was a good, beautiful God, this is not the place He would have made. We worship idle statues and buildings, burning incense and fragrances for these images that never give back, and if this is love, if this is considered beauty, then I wish to be free of it. For every time I see you foreigners come, my stomach begins to churn... and my heart begins to thump... because in my heart, I hate you. Yet with my mouth, I must grind my teeth and love you.
I know you foreigner. You walk by a beggar on the street every day of your life, on the richest street in the world, as if he will no longer exist after he has left your sight. Too busy are you? But the beggar still lies there, still hungry, still slowly fading away every day of every morning. And the slave still walks in your shadow, yet you stroll along as if you do not notice me. But one day, you will. For human justice is blind... but not true Justice. You, oh rich child, will be held accountable for everything that you do, did you know that? Do you?
My countrymen... we... do not wish to be beggars, so we have chosen to be slaves. I need money, don't you? So my wife and I have decided that she will be your whore, and I will be your driver. This is not the life of a real man. This is not the life of a free woman. These are the lives of slaves. And you...
You are our customer.
God save us all.
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