Do you ever notice it's easier to believe the bad stuff about yourself, than the good? I mean, it's easy to believe it when people put you down, and it's even easier to listen to the whispers in your head telling you you're lower than what you really are. The Bible speaks of us as "sons and daughters of the Lord Almighty," (2 Cor 6), but it takes long hours of constant reminder to make a person truly realize who they really are. If we keep a person in prison long enough, they will eventually believe that they belong there, even if they do not. That's why the apostle Paul tells us to keep our minds set on heavenly things (Col 3), on our future place of glory and ever-increasing wonder and amazement (2 Cor 5), living in the heavenly realm where beaches never end and the skies are so beautiful they set you free every time you take in a breathe, staring into a vastness with no beginning or end... Can you imagine the beauty that awaits us? My heart longs for that place called Heaven, the place where the Perfect One dwells and we along with Him... truly, our imaginations have a greater purpose than to dwell on the things below in the world. How often do we fill our minds with songs and stories that only take us to the tallest mountains on earth, yet even the highest places in the world are lower than the lowest places among the stars... and beloved, we were meant for the stars.
There was once a very popular story called "Pretty Woman", about a prostitute who, being found by a very wealthy and noble man, falls in love and remembers the person she truly is that she had long ago forgotten. Coming from a troubled past, the lack of a loving father and the discouragement of a bitter mother, she went from man to man only to find that she believed she was worth no more than what she had been told all her life, attracting unruly, cruel, and merciless men. Yet when this good man came to her, he saw beauty in her she once only dreamt about in the dreams of her youth, and slowly she began to change in a way she never knew was possible; she changed the way she saw herself… as a person meant to be truly loved. Perhaps it was the new clothes he bought for her, or perhaps it was the frequent meals she had that were not out of Chinese take-out boxes… or it just may have been the dignity she was treated with that was due to her as a child of the living God, I mean, after all...
We are all equal under the sun.
Whatever it was, this man saw a light and beauty that awaited her, a light that was dying to be set free, washing over fields of gold and spilling over mountain tops and sapphire blue lakes on warm summer mornings…
For no light is meant to be hidden.
She recalls the time when she was a little girl being punished by her mother, trapped in the basement, dreaming of a knight in shining armor that would come and rescue her from the evil queen. And when the generous man offers to buy her an apartment and a car and take her off the streets, she refuses him. Why? She refuses him because she no longer wanted to be treated as someone’s property, she refused him because she knew what she was worth, and it was more than any amount of money could ever buy. For knights in shining armor never come for mistresses to put up in penthouse suites, but comes for the beautiful princess he will one day make his bride. This movie captured the hearts of millions because there was a part in every one of us that was waiting for a knight to come and rescue us. Yet are we worth saving? Are you? One by one, the wicked queens and dragons come knocking, reminding us of our chains, for freedom is meant only for the free.
My dear friend… You have dreamt dreams too, haven’t you? Perhaps you were young, and perhaps you have convinced yourself that dreams are just for kids, and that we’ve “grown out of it." But my dear friend, the beauty of children is their capacity not only to dream, but to believe in those dreams and live them out as free spirits. It is as if their innocence realized a greater blessing than our knowledge ever offered; faith. My dear friend, let your heart stir tonight, for you are worth more than what you have come to believe about yourself, for you were not meant to search for happy moment after happy moment as a person constantly needing to draw water from a well, but you were meant to be filled with happiness, a spring of water bursting inside of you that is not finite but infinite… for how many people once dared to dream of eternal bliss?
Didn't you?
One day, just as this woman saw, a knight in shining armor came to rescue us, yet this knight was not dressed in armor clad by iron or steel; His armor was clothed in heavenly light, a light the world could not see or touch... And He did not ride on a beautiful stallion made for the fading kings of the earth, but on a humble colt, showing us the Kingdom of Heaven is not found in the precious things of earth, but humanity must be found again by the precious things of Heaven; He is the Lamb that was slain for the sins of all the world. He came to take away the pain, the hunger, the fear of damnation, and free us from our mistakes and the guilt that haunts us so. He comes in the Name of love and the Name of God Himself, a Joy giver that never stops giving, and leaves us with a Message of true, unfiltered, unedited, and completely perfected, love. He is Jesus Christ, and there is none like Him. He loves, He forgives, He is patient and ready and willing to heal… for He did not come for the self-righteous, the proud who claim on rooftops they need no help yet cower away in their cold rooms lying alone on their cold beds… no, He is the one who gives grace and mercies to the humble, who carved out the rivers and the oceans with so much beauty and light that we can see glimpses of what is to come, so we would thirst for more than water, and seek that which is greater. Come and see Him while He knocks on your door, for you are no stranger to Him... you are His son, His daughter, and He has been waiting for you for a very long time. Come home now.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him." John 3:16-17
When Our Strength Fails Us
Recently, it seems I have run into several people around me, who feel they have lost a reason for living. I hope this letter, is more than just a letter, but a stirring in your heart to know that when your strength fails, there is a greater hope in which all people can turn to, to find hope.
"I find myself always looking to be inspired, to feel something, to actually have something better to say to people than just, "I'm ok". To actually say that my life was lived and I did something with it, that I actually inspired people, that I helped people grow into the butterfly that flutters outside their window, that I am someone worth mentioning, and not worth mentioning at all.
That my life was worth living.
I know we all say that ambition is important, but more important than ambition is what that ambition is. One would say Martin Luther King Jr. was very ambitious, a charismatic visionary, a man who would not yield to the predominant public opinion that blacks (or any other race) were inferior to someone born with pale skin. We would also say that Adolf Hitler was also very ambitious, a charismatic visionary, a man who would not yield to the predominant public opinion that germans were inferior to someone born in another wealthier country. Hitler's ambition was to prove that the Aryan race was greater than all of mankind. MLK's ambition was to prove that all races were equal under God.
I look in my heart and around me and I see us, our young generation, where so many are of us are still lost in our ambitions. Too afraid to look into the mirror that even when we do look, we keep one eye closed. Driven by our fears, blinded by our goals and "how to" lifestyle, so enamored with the thought of being on top of that ladder that that ladder has become the most important thing in our lives. Confused and broken, we've forgotten that life is more important than money, the body more important than clothes. No one says they live for wealth, but 98% of the American country live as if it is. We need money, but what is the ambition driving us? Why do so many people in this country hate their job? Or their boss? Wish they had a raise in pay? Why do so many people, given more money, continue to desire more? Is it so hard to see that we are so easily driven by our fears, or our desire for pleasure? And to what end? Our fear of being poor, our fear of looking bad in front of our friends, the pleasure of being rich, the pleasure of looking good in front of our friends... Holding onto something that speaks nothing of truth or love, our climbing has stripped us of our very essence because we are no longer ourselves. We have become our pleasures, we have become a product of our fears.
I have a dream too. I have a dream that one day I will live a life that is filled with good fruit, with love and compassion, understanding and wisdom, that though the worries of this life have laid a heavy burden on our shoulders, that it will not lay it's grip on our throats and choke our every breathe. And I know this worry, and I know you know it too. We've seen multi-billionaires jump off 30 story buildings after their company went bankrupt, and 60 year old farmers who gave 99% of their money away (over a million dollars) to start a ministry for troubled kids who felt just like we do now; afraid. So where is the heart of this country? Where is our soul?
I use-to sit high atop my horse living every day as if I was immortal, following every desire and pleasure that was in my heart, making my own rules, searching only for the next high... and for 5 years I lived in an ocean of fear and pleasure... only to find that the sparkling blue ocean I had sailed my ship on was an unforgiving desert... and the water I was drinking was grains of sand, seeping through my fingers...
So where will I go now in this place? Will I die here just as I lay? Or will I seek out the truth and beauty that is in my life? I see only one set of footprints in the sand now.. Carry me through oh God, carry me through..."
"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him." -John 3:17
"I find myself always looking to be inspired, to feel something, to actually have something better to say to people than just, "I'm ok". To actually say that my life was lived and I did something with it, that I actually inspired people, that I helped people grow into the butterfly that flutters outside their window, that I am someone worth mentioning, and not worth mentioning at all.
That my life was worth living.
I know we all say that ambition is important, but more important than ambition is what that ambition is. One would say Martin Luther King Jr. was very ambitious, a charismatic visionary, a man who would not yield to the predominant public opinion that blacks (or any other race) were inferior to someone born with pale skin. We would also say that Adolf Hitler was also very ambitious, a charismatic visionary, a man who would not yield to the predominant public opinion that germans were inferior to someone born in another wealthier country. Hitler's ambition was to prove that the Aryan race was greater than all of mankind. MLK's ambition was to prove that all races were equal under God.
I look in my heart and around me and I see us, our young generation, where so many are of us are still lost in our ambitions. Too afraid to look into the mirror that even when we do look, we keep one eye closed. Driven by our fears, blinded by our goals and "how to" lifestyle, so enamored with the thought of being on top of that ladder that that ladder has become the most important thing in our lives. Confused and broken, we've forgotten that life is more important than money, the body more important than clothes. No one says they live for wealth, but 98% of the American country live as if it is. We need money, but what is the ambition driving us? Why do so many people in this country hate their job? Or their boss? Wish they had a raise in pay? Why do so many people, given more money, continue to desire more? Is it so hard to see that we are so easily driven by our fears, or our desire for pleasure? And to what end? Our fear of being poor, our fear of looking bad in front of our friends, the pleasure of being rich, the pleasure of looking good in front of our friends... Holding onto something that speaks nothing of truth or love, our climbing has stripped us of our very essence because we are no longer ourselves. We have become our pleasures, we have become a product of our fears.
I have a dream too. I have a dream that one day I will live a life that is filled with good fruit, with love and compassion, understanding and wisdom, that though the worries of this life have laid a heavy burden on our shoulders, that it will not lay it's grip on our throats and choke our every breathe. And I know this worry, and I know you know it too. We've seen multi-billionaires jump off 30 story buildings after their company went bankrupt, and 60 year old farmers who gave 99% of their money away (over a million dollars) to start a ministry for troubled kids who felt just like we do now; afraid. So where is the heart of this country? Where is our soul?
I use-to sit high atop my horse living every day as if I was immortal, following every desire and pleasure that was in my heart, making my own rules, searching only for the next high... and for 5 years I lived in an ocean of fear and pleasure... only to find that the sparkling blue ocean I had sailed my ship on was an unforgiving desert... and the water I was drinking was grains of sand, seeping through my fingers...
So where will I go now in this place? Will I die here just as I lay? Or will I seek out the truth and beauty that is in my life? I see only one set of footprints in the sand now.. Carry me through oh God, carry me through..."
"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him." -John 3:17
You Believed When You Were Young
I remember you so vividly. At times I could sit back and drift and literally "feel" the memories of the past, and I could always remember you in particular. I remember there were moments when I, being older than you, use to take advice from you. I remember you use to encourage me greatly, consistently, lifting me up when my spirits were low and keeping me on earth when my emotions were too high. You use to keep me in your prayers constantly, opening your Bible and being faithful to most all the promises you made... each night you would pray for courage and guidance for the following day at school; high school life wasn't always easy, if you remember. You use to look up to many great people, and some treated you well, and others not so well... but you never lost it. You never lost your faith. You were so full of faith and joy. God I use to see your joy radiate from your smile, and with just one look I'd catch myself smiling back.. without even knowing why..
I remember how much you loved to worship God. I remember how passionate you would get when you would sing, in front of the entire church, with everyone around, you would sing your heart out to Jesus, because you knew in your heart and your soul how much He truly loved you. Do you remember those days? You never cared what others thought of you, but you didn't hate the gossipers.. you rose above them by serving them, being humble around them knowing you were guilty too, and always trying to help them. Do you remember?
The days when you were loved...
Time passes quickly, doesn't it? It's been over a decade since those days, and if I asked you to, you could still probably remember the color of the walls in the chapel, the long red pews lining up like solar panels drinking up the light of the sun.. and it was in those short, powerful moments that you use to know that you would never leave Him, because you knew He would never leave you. You were so confident then. The days went on and the years passed, and you found many of your peers straying off, veering into dark corners of the world... following their dreams and ambitions most of our parents laid out for us, and before you even knew what happened... you ended up in a place you never imagined.
Uncertain.
You were always so honest to me, and if I may be so bold as to honor you by giving you that same honor, why are you where you are? Most people, young or old, never like to admit they are uncertain, that most times out of the day when they sit and think, they truly realize they're not as sure as they wished, and are always trying to catch the white rabbit they continually miss... but this isn't an interview, and no one is asking you any questions that they'll hear the answers to.. so truly, why are you lost?
I'm not better than you. You know that. I know that better than anyone. I know all the things I had done. Bad things. Terrible things. Things that were difficult for me to lay out on the table and analyze. But I did it. It was painful. I wasn't really one to cry a lot, but I wept, bitter tears. I wept because I had no one, and I knew that even those that I had, it was imperfect. I mean, I'm imperfect too, but that's not what I mean. The love I had never seemed enough. I always wanted more. No wait, that's not right... I always needed more. But it was never enough! I strived and strived and begged and begged... and they would always throw me a crumb, just enough to keep me at their beck and call. I went to those parties. I know you. You're not fulfilled getting drunk on the weekends and going to those parties hopefully catching yourself with a famous person to put on your Instagram. That's not enough for you. You're not fulfilled at your job either, are you? There's always another ladder to climb... another person to try not to envy.
If you and I were meant to live in such a way, which is what the world would certainly lead us to do, then I don't see why we're always asking for more. If we're just animals, then why has mankind since the beginning of written history always had eternity in inscribed in their hearts? How can someone bound by time even have a concept of something being outside of it?
Do you want to be free?
You're not like me. You don't need "proof." You weren't made that way. You live by following your heart. So when you look... deep down... I mean deep down, to the very bottom of your heart of hearts... when you've hit rock bottom and there's no more "bottomer" place to go.. what does your heart tell you? Even when I was doing all the bad things I was doing... when I was alone in my room, and I searched deep down to that lowest of places in my heart... I knew Jesus was real. I knew He was the Son of God. It's true. Romans 1.
I hated it, don't get me wrong, and I know right now, you probably hate it too. But Jesus doesn't hate you. Isn't that interesting? As much as I denied Him and spit on Him and persecuted and ridiculed His followers, church goers, cussed them out and drank to their misery... I realized, that no matter what I did, I couldn't take away what He did. You can't change the past. You use to tell me that. You can't change the past. Well, you were right.
I couldn't change the Cross.
Oh my dear friend, how much He has waiting for you.. how much He loves you, you and I will never fully know.. but would you do me a favor? When He calls on you again, it will be the quietest whisper venting in your soul... and the loudest knock you hear on your door... because He won't be hiding behind a mask or putting on a front for you. This isn't a show and it's not a dream; this is your life... and You'll know that it's Him. You'll know because you use to love Him... you were madly in love with Him...
He was your first love.
“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep." John 10:15
Oh my friend, He is jealous for you. He died for you because it would last for all time, eternal and undimmed by the fading glory of this world.. and even though you're uncertain right now, even though you're shaking... just know... that He loves you... and cares for you very, very much. You were never gone, you just went away for a little while is all. Come home now.
I remember how much you loved to worship God. I remember how passionate you would get when you would sing, in front of the entire church, with everyone around, you would sing your heart out to Jesus, because you knew in your heart and your soul how much He truly loved you. Do you remember those days? You never cared what others thought of you, but you didn't hate the gossipers.. you rose above them by serving them, being humble around them knowing you were guilty too, and always trying to help them. Do you remember?
The days when you were loved...
Time passes quickly, doesn't it? It's been over a decade since those days, and if I asked you to, you could still probably remember the color of the walls in the chapel, the long red pews lining up like solar panels drinking up the light of the sun.. and it was in those short, powerful moments that you use to know that you would never leave Him, because you knew He would never leave you. You were so confident then. The days went on and the years passed, and you found many of your peers straying off, veering into dark corners of the world... following their dreams and ambitions most of our parents laid out for us, and before you even knew what happened... you ended up in a place you never imagined.
Uncertain.
You were always so honest to me, and if I may be so bold as to honor you by giving you that same honor, why are you where you are? Most people, young or old, never like to admit they are uncertain, that most times out of the day when they sit and think, they truly realize they're not as sure as they wished, and are always trying to catch the white rabbit they continually miss... but this isn't an interview, and no one is asking you any questions that they'll hear the answers to.. so truly, why are you lost?
I'm not better than you. You know that. I know that better than anyone. I know all the things I had done. Bad things. Terrible things. Things that were difficult for me to lay out on the table and analyze. But I did it. It was painful. I wasn't really one to cry a lot, but I wept, bitter tears. I wept because I had no one, and I knew that even those that I had, it was imperfect. I mean, I'm imperfect too, but that's not what I mean. The love I had never seemed enough. I always wanted more. No wait, that's not right... I always needed more. But it was never enough! I strived and strived and begged and begged... and they would always throw me a crumb, just enough to keep me at their beck and call. I went to those parties. I know you. You're not fulfilled getting drunk on the weekends and going to those parties hopefully catching yourself with a famous person to put on your Instagram. That's not enough for you. You're not fulfilled at your job either, are you? There's always another ladder to climb... another person to try not to envy.
If you and I were meant to live in such a way, which is what the world would certainly lead us to do, then I don't see why we're always asking for more. If we're just animals, then why has mankind since the beginning of written history always had eternity in inscribed in their hearts? How can someone bound by time even have a concept of something being outside of it?
Do you want to be free?
You're not like me. You don't need "proof." You weren't made that way. You live by following your heart. So when you look... deep down... I mean deep down, to the very bottom of your heart of hearts... when you've hit rock bottom and there's no more "bottomer" place to go.. what does your heart tell you? Even when I was doing all the bad things I was doing... when I was alone in my room, and I searched deep down to that lowest of places in my heart... I knew Jesus was real. I knew He was the Son of God. It's true. Romans 1.
I hated it, don't get me wrong, and I know right now, you probably hate it too. But Jesus doesn't hate you. Isn't that interesting? As much as I denied Him and spit on Him and persecuted and ridiculed His followers, church goers, cussed them out and drank to their misery... I realized, that no matter what I did, I couldn't take away what He did. You can't change the past. You use to tell me that. You can't change the past. Well, you were right.
I couldn't change the Cross.
Oh my dear friend, how much He has waiting for you.. how much He loves you, you and I will never fully know.. but would you do me a favor? When He calls on you again, it will be the quietest whisper venting in your soul... and the loudest knock you hear on your door... because He won't be hiding behind a mask or putting on a front for you. This isn't a show and it's not a dream; this is your life... and You'll know that it's Him. You'll know because you use to love Him... you were madly in love with Him...
He was your first love.
“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep." John 10:15
Oh my friend, He is jealous for you. He died for you because it would last for all time, eternal and undimmed by the fading glory of this world.. and even though you're uncertain right now, even though you're shaking... just know... that He loves you... and cares for you very, very much. You were never gone, you just went away for a little while is all. Come home now.
Night Walker
It saddens me to see the pain that you have entered into. I know that it hurts, and that the pain seems like it will not subside. You have used many different methods to calm it down, including drugs, people, fits of happiness and moments of rage.. yet all of them are the types of happiness that leave you restless, seeking, in want, craving for more..
I look back at those days of mine where the sun was always too bright and the night couldn't come quicker; every day was exactly the same. I dreamt of a place where everyone was joyful, together, loving and accepting one another... and interestingly enough, consuming drugs to enhance their joy. I got it, but it was not as I had desired.
I looked around this large dark hill of people, mingling, talking, enjoying each other and the various drugs they were into... and soon the night closed with the dawning of the sun. Everyone's imperfections were noticed. Everybody ran to hide from the light. Those who did not hide, their flaws were completely exposed, some were even naked.. some were cheating on one another... others were talking behind their friends' backs, and none of them were filled with joy, for the light revealed everything, and soon.. the joy given to them by drugs and wild living in the night turned quickly into a depression too heavy to bear through the shining of the sun.
I ran and ran and ran, hiding inside of caves before the sun would set and the night would begin.. Every time the sun came up, I would sleep inside my cave, and at times, different ones, and others would be crowded in with me. It was a difficult time when daybreak came. It was uncomfortable, difficult to breathe... we feared judgment, fought amongst one another for spaces and pleasures... we had a moral code that we followed. My code is better than yours was the general notion among everybody. Everyone broke one another's code; it was simply a way to suit their own narrative.
We were gods.
Eventually joy turned to envy, envy turned to greed, and then came the fights. There was no real loyalty. It was all based around that which we all paid homage to; pleasure. No one cared more about anything but pleasure. We sought it out and went to the ends of the earth to get it. Our loyalty to one another stemmed around our loyalty to that pleasure. If anybody forsook that pleasure, we would eventually forsake them. "What business do we have with them anymore anyway?" we told ourselves.
I could see that in many places around the world, the idea was the same. Perhaps this is why vampire movies are so prevalent. The dark seems to be a "cool" place. The most fashionable cave today has not changed since the dawn of time. It is murky, difficult to see, confusing, and most of all, filled with blind men leading the blind. I saw it with my own eyes, or rather, my eyes had been darkened so that I was unable to open them in the midst of the sun. If it were not for the hand that led me during this time, I would not be with you now, writing to you, able to see, able to breathe freely in the summer breeze in the glow of the morning star that breathed in me new life.
It saddens me to see you entering into these caves of regret and remorse. To think the sun only reveals your weaknesses is a narrow point of view. Yes, it does do this, yet if you will stand there for a moment and soak in the heat of the sun, you will realize that it not only reveals truth; it burns away the dead things of the body, growing up into life within the soul. Someone once told me a seed must first die before it becomes a living, breathing thing; from death to life, a resurrection from the grave. You see, the light reveals truth, and the truth will set you free. No "daywalker" fears the night do they? Only nightwalkers fear the day. A vampire is very limited in its' fabled history; they die and burn in the light of the sun. Yet those who walk during the day do not burn in darkness. No, it is exactly here that they shine in the midst of darkness, and that is exactly what the Son does.
He radiates inside of you, and that which you receive during the day, while the light is still here, you will shine into the darkest areas of the earth. And you will do more than simply reveal people's sicknesses, flaws, greed, envy... you will change them forever. You will create sons of light from sons of darkness. They will not feed on the blood of people anymore but be eternally filled once and for all by the blood of the Son. They will not run and hide as they once did from the morning star, but they will run and embrace Him as the giver of Life, the giver of eternal joy and happiness. True, someone will tell you there is no life in the sun for night creatures such as yourselves. Yet I was a nightwalker once just like you, perhaps even more. And believe me when I tell you, it is impossible to see in the dark.
And you, having been freed, oh former member of the dark, will come out of your cave and enjoy the brilliance of the entire earth shining before you. You will run free through fields of gold, never hiding, for shame will drift away into a lost memory... and glory will suddenly become a reality, a reality you will never forget nor regret, for regret only comes when there is loss.. and you will never lose this glory, for the Son is eternal, and His glory lasts from age to age, and so will you. We will share in this glory, even now we do.
So rise up night walker! Awake!
It is time to shine like the sun.
"Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:1-5
I look back at those days of mine where the sun was always too bright and the night couldn't come quicker; every day was exactly the same. I dreamt of a place where everyone was joyful, together, loving and accepting one another... and interestingly enough, consuming drugs to enhance their joy. I got it, but it was not as I had desired.
I looked around this large dark hill of people, mingling, talking, enjoying each other and the various drugs they were into... and soon the night closed with the dawning of the sun. Everyone's imperfections were noticed. Everybody ran to hide from the light. Those who did not hide, their flaws were completely exposed, some were even naked.. some were cheating on one another... others were talking behind their friends' backs, and none of them were filled with joy, for the light revealed everything, and soon.. the joy given to them by drugs and wild living in the night turned quickly into a depression too heavy to bear through the shining of the sun.
I ran and ran and ran, hiding inside of caves before the sun would set and the night would begin.. Every time the sun came up, I would sleep inside my cave, and at times, different ones, and others would be crowded in with me. It was a difficult time when daybreak came. It was uncomfortable, difficult to breathe... we feared judgment, fought amongst one another for spaces and pleasures... we had a moral code that we followed. My code is better than yours was the general notion among everybody. Everyone broke one another's code; it was simply a way to suit their own narrative.
We were gods.
Eventually joy turned to envy, envy turned to greed, and then came the fights. There was no real loyalty. It was all based around that which we all paid homage to; pleasure. No one cared more about anything but pleasure. We sought it out and went to the ends of the earth to get it. Our loyalty to one another stemmed around our loyalty to that pleasure. If anybody forsook that pleasure, we would eventually forsake them. "What business do we have with them anymore anyway?" we told ourselves.
I could see that in many places around the world, the idea was the same. Perhaps this is why vampire movies are so prevalent. The dark seems to be a "cool" place. The most fashionable cave today has not changed since the dawn of time. It is murky, difficult to see, confusing, and most of all, filled with blind men leading the blind. I saw it with my own eyes, or rather, my eyes had been darkened so that I was unable to open them in the midst of the sun. If it were not for the hand that led me during this time, I would not be with you now, writing to you, able to see, able to breathe freely in the summer breeze in the glow of the morning star that breathed in me new life.
It saddens me to see you entering into these caves of regret and remorse. To think the sun only reveals your weaknesses is a narrow point of view. Yes, it does do this, yet if you will stand there for a moment and soak in the heat of the sun, you will realize that it not only reveals truth; it burns away the dead things of the body, growing up into life within the soul. Someone once told me a seed must first die before it becomes a living, breathing thing; from death to life, a resurrection from the grave. You see, the light reveals truth, and the truth will set you free. No "daywalker" fears the night do they? Only nightwalkers fear the day. A vampire is very limited in its' fabled history; they die and burn in the light of the sun. Yet those who walk during the day do not burn in darkness. No, it is exactly here that they shine in the midst of darkness, and that is exactly what the Son does.
He radiates inside of you, and that which you receive during the day, while the light is still here, you will shine into the darkest areas of the earth. And you will do more than simply reveal people's sicknesses, flaws, greed, envy... you will change them forever. You will create sons of light from sons of darkness. They will not feed on the blood of people anymore but be eternally filled once and for all by the blood of the Son. They will not run and hide as they once did from the morning star, but they will run and embrace Him as the giver of Life, the giver of eternal joy and happiness. True, someone will tell you there is no life in the sun for night creatures such as yourselves. Yet I was a nightwalker once just like you, perhaps even more. And believe me when I tell you, it is impossible to see in the dark.
And you, having been freed, oh former member of the dark, will come out of your cave and enjoy the brilliance of the entire earth shining before you. You will run free through fields of gold, never hiding, for shame will drift away into a lost memory... and glory will suddenly become a reality, a reality you will never forget nor regret, for regret only comes when there is loss.. and you will never lose this glory, for the Son is eternal, and His glory lasts from age to age, and so will you. We will share in this glory, even now we do.
So rise up night walker! Awake!
It is time to shine like the sun.
"Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:1-5
Where is the Love?
How often do we think of the lost? I mean really... when's the last time we wept over those who are destined for Hades? You see, whether you believe in God or don't, a person who truly believes in God doesn't only surround himself with entertainment and work. They don't only think about when the new movie's coming out, or when I get my next paycheck, or whose birthday is coming up next. These things have value, but isn’t there something greater than this, something greater than my own troubles? How often are we so concerned with our needs that we forget the needy? How often are we so concerned with our own salvation that we forget to preach to others? Isn't this heart, the heart of the Father? What about the people who are starving, wondering where they're going to find a clean source of water, who don't have the hope of eternity, lying on their death beds wondering what's going to happen to them next? When's the last time we wept over them? I prayed to the Lord,
"God forgive me! I do not love enough!
God forgive me! I sought after Your knowledge but did not seek after Your love!
God forgive me! I forgot that I am clothed in righteousness, a son of the Most High God!
God forgive me! I thought of attaining perfection and did not dwell upon Yours!”
God forgive me, truly, for in the midst of seeking out opportunities to minister, I forgot to minister to You.
Where is the love? Where has my love gone? I have cared only for myself and not the troubles of others. I told God that to be honest, I use to have such a greater burden than I do now. Francis Chan and his board of elders held a meeting once confessing all their sins to one another, most of their sins being that they use to love so much more than they do now. Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song about the same thing. I didn't want to hide, I didn't want to front, I didn't want to act like I was better, but when I heard that I knew I was guilty of the same thing. So here's my question to you:
If we were shown a video of children dying, wasting away from water poisoning, drinking out of a puddle of mud you and I wouldn’t let our children step in, does that do anything for you? Prove it. A famous pastor once said to an American congregation, you can tell a lot about Christians by looking at their checkbook. Are you generous? How much money do we spend on toys and entertainment, compared to missions and feeding the poor, widows and orphans?
And you know something? I can't wait. I can't wait for God to show up and do His thing. I can't wait for Him to change our hearts. I don't want to sound mopey and sad. I can't wait for this because I know for a FACT that God is going to do this thing, He's going to move this country, this people, these hearts that have grown callous and cold (and He's doing it now). I can't wait for that to happen here. God hears the prayers of the righteous, and I know people who have wept and prayed over this country with me who I consider to be far better than I, and I know God is coming. I know your heart is going to change, as is mine, that we're going to continually be moving up towards heaven and not back down towards earth, our former way of living; we're gonna be freed of all the bondage and accusations that come from the Devil and walk in the glory of the Son. I know this because I know Him, or rather, because He knows me. And because He knows me and the Son laid down His life for me, my desire, oh Father in heaven, oh King of Kings, is to do the same for my brothers and sisters in need.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows. -Psalm 23:5
"God forgive me! I do not love enough!
God forgive me! I sought after Your knowledge but did not seek after Your love!
God forgive me! I forgot that I am clothed in righteousness, a son of the Most High God!
God forgive me! I thought of attaining perfection and did not dwell upon Yours!”
God forgive me, truly, for in the midst of seeking out opportunities to minister, I forgot to minister to You.
Where is the love? Where has my love gone? I have cared only for myself and not the troubles of others. I told God that to be honest, I use to have such a greater burden than I do now. Francis Chan and his board of elders held a meeting once confessing all their sins to one another, most of their sins being that they use to love so much more than they do now. Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song about the same thing. I didn't want to hide, I didn't want to front, I didn't want to act like I was better, but when I heard that I knew I was guilty of the same thing. So here's my question to you:
If we were shown a video of children dying, wasting away from water poisoning, drinking out of a puddle of mud you and I wouldn’t let our children step in, does that do anything for you? Prove it. A famous pastor once said to an American congregation, you can tell a lot about Christians by looking at their checkbook. Are you generous? How much money do we spend on toys and entertainment, compared to missions and feeding the poor, widows and orphans?
And you know something? I can't wait. I can't wait for God to show up and do His thing. I can't wait for Him to change our hearts. I don't want to sound mopey and sad. I can't wait for this because I know for a FACT that God is going to do this thing, He's going to move this country, this people, these hearts that have grown callous and cold (and He's doing it now). I can't wait for that to happen here. God hears the prayers of the righteous, and I know people who have wept and prayed over this country with me who I consider to be far better than I, and I know God is coming. I know your heart is going to change, as is mine, that we're going to continually be moving up towards heaven and not back down towards earth, our former way of living; we're gonna be freed of all the bondage and accusations that come from the Devil and walk in the glory of the Son. I know this because I know Him, or rather, because He knows me. And because He knows me and the Son laid down His life for me, my desire, oh Father in heaven, oh King of Kings, is to do the same for my brothers and sisters in need.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows. -Psalm 23:5
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