A Teenage Pharisee

When I was 19...

"It's a sad thing when friends turn from one another. It is sad when a person's religion, is the line that is drawn between two lovers, or two friends, or even two family members. You see, there was a time when Christians tried to justify segregation between whites and blacks, by arguing that Negroes were inferior by nature because of Noah's curse on the children of Ham. But we are taught that this is wrong, and we can all see that now, now that it has already happened. We can all say with confidence that in Christ "there is neither Jew nor Gentile, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus."

You would have said this to those who were racist, correct? To those who you would say didn't "know better"? But there is something that is still in question, because there is still segregation among us, among the church, among believers, although we claim to "know better". It is not racial, nor sexist...but a segregation within the Body of Christ. This is not new, and it never was. There has been more than 250 denominations within Protestantism in America, and it's still going. The true Body of Christ has no denominations, no divisions, no quarrels, no gray, just black and white, just truth.

The segregation comes from the danger of claiming to know more than another. This claim turns into a "spiritual arrogance" as MLK put it, that a man or woman who sits at his or her church, lifting their arms high in the air praising the Lord, believes that he or she is actually BETTER than the person next to them. Don't get this confused, everybody will say they are not perfect, this is not what I said, I said BETTER, not perfect. I know you don't think you're perfect, I know. But try and picture a Pharisee today, picture a church leader, a club leader, a praise leader, a person who is always in the front of the church, who is on time every Sunday, who goes to every small group, every retreat, every revival, every rally, every missions...picture this. And seeing this man having a full resume of "good deeds", it is not hard to believe that he would be arrogant, that he would see himself being a little bit "better", a little bit more "qualified" to sit at the Right Hand of God than a man who is lacking in these "church credentials".

And as a very simple example, imagine a person who has claimed to have been a christian all his life, who also has a full resume of "good deeds", sees another man showing up to his church on Sunday's sporadically, inconsistently, always late, and always in the back row. What would he think? What did you think? You see it was never the deed that made a Christian, but the faith. And yes, faith without deeds is dead, but it has to start with faith. That man who did all those great things for the church was spiritually dead, he believed that every good deed he did, he became that much of a better person, and began falling in love with himself, and did it for that exact reason. And as he grew older, he started doing more and more, for the sake of being recognized in the church as a person of integrity, because it felt good believing he was righteous, not perfect, but righteous. And I can see this in many of you, I can see it in your eyes, your talk, in your actions, through your "white-washed tombs".

How? How can you claim to see so much? Because that was me, I was that man. I tell you this through writing, because I know it will hurt you if I personally said it, because then you would believe I was judging you, and my integrity in your mind would become lower than it already was, and nothing would come of it. I saw you looking at me when I was high, when I was at those parties, when I was with those girls, fulfilling my temporal desires as a human. And I saw you look down on me. And I believed you. I believed you were better than me, because I once believed I was better than you.

And to some of you I wish I could just say it, because I know reading this will not change you, reading this will not make you realize that you have been lying to yourself for so long. It took me two years of loneliness, emptiness, drugs and more drugs, and a man from my church that helped me realize this(u know who u are), and I thank you. He also helped me realize I had turned back into that same person, that I once again looked down on those who use to be like me, going back to the danger of claiming to knowing more than another, to know absolute truth. And to those of you who are in a position in your church to speak out, personally, face to face, with that person you know is not true, is a Pharisee, then speak out. Tell them. Don't let them nod their heads and go on with their business like they'll be nodding their heads if they read this...you know they'll agree with everything you say. But they don't believe it. Be blunt, be clear, above all pray. I may be young, but this much I know."

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